FAIRY TALE: Losing One’s Authentic Self

A soul named Lila came to earth embodied as a beautiful infant girl.
Lila’s body comprised two energy systems, the high speed vibrational system of the soul or higher self, and the low speed, biophysical system, including the fight or flight response, of the human organism. The second system had been designed to protect the human body from threats.
The Earth parents loved their delightful daughter, but were not pleased when she cried and screamed. Once during a temper tantram, she told her mother “I hate you.” Both parents were deeply offended by this behavior. Little girls should be “sugar and spice and everything nice.” Not wanting to be judged as bad parents if anyone heard that their child acted out, they called the witch patrol. This group of seven witches worked to rid Earth children of base, shameful, and disgusting “lower self” behaviors. The witches used methods of shaming and punishing that caused the beautiful little girl to bury her anger so deep within herself that no-one would ever know it existed. By suppressing her negativity within the muscles and organs of her body, she suppressed her “higher self ” energy at well. Now she would no longer be considered an angry child, but some of her special and unique gifts disappeared too. Lila did not notice the absence of her true self. When she thought about her old behavior, such as telling her mother she hated her, she felt ashamed. Over time, she forgot that she ever had negative feelings. The witch patrol had done their job well.
Since Earth is a fairly dangerous planet, Lila no longer felt safe. Her fierce anger was gone Therefore, she created protective armor, called the ego mask, a method her parents would not reject, as they wore ego-masks themselves. The ego-mask hid the true self so that it would not be hurt and it created a false, distorted version of Lila’s real self, so that no-one would ever have access to the real Lila again.
After a while Lila, like all the others on the planet, forgot that the self she created for protection was false. She believed her mask image, thinking “this is who I am.” However, when Lila became a woman, she sensed that something was wrong. She never fully felt herself, and she never felt totally alive. She suffered from a lack of confidence and low self-esteem, even though she did very well in school and won many awards. After she separated from her third husband, she said “I cannot live this way anymore.” At that point, and for the first time ever, she turned to prayer and asked for guidance.
An angel heard her prayer and came to help her. But at first the help did not feel like help. “Who is this cruel angel who is telling me that I am not real, that I have denied my feelings, cut off my anger and my fear, and lived in a state of arrogance and false perfection”, asked Lila? The angel was very patient and helped Lila find the parts of herself she repressed as a young child. Together the angel and Lila collaborated to undo the work of the witch patrol. Once she could face her rage and her terror and free up the energy associated with these emotions, releasing it from the taut muscles of her body, Lila began to feel like her true self. The angel helped her to tear off the ego mask, to release and transform the stuck “lower self” emotions, and to experience her heart. Now Lila helps other Earthlings to reclaim their true selves, her angel visits her often, and she has joy and fulfillment in her life.

How I Became A Psychotherapist

I remember sitting with a group of people at a workshop in Fairmount Park, in a house owned by the park, located in Philadelphia. In the early 1970’s. I had finished a master’s degree in education form the Urban Teacher Preparation Program at Syracuse University and had come to Philadelphia to work in an inner city environment. I found myself excited by the work I did in the schools bringing a humanistic perspective to inner city children. I harbored a desire to raise self-esteem as well as teach. The air smelled of spring and the windows were open. It was delicious. I looked at the facilitator who had a Gestalt Psychology background, and I had a strong inner jolt: “I want to be doing that.”
Certainly part of that jolt was ego, maybe part was envy, even jealousy, but the strongest part lived beyond words. It pulled up from my essence saying this is my life path, what I am meant to do, want I want to do.
John Pierrakos told me he felt the same thing when we first met. We stood in the Sheraton Hotel in Philadelphia 10 years later, 1983. He had just presented a seminar on body reading and bowled over by its content I went up to where he was standing to ask if I could study with him. Later he told me that he knew right then that we would work closely together in the future.
When I was 16, my English teacher asked my class to write autobiographies. I wrote that I planned to be a psychologist in the future. Although this was1964 and I had never met a psychologist, I knew it intuitively. It became my dream and I never wavered.
I began my BA degree at Carnegie Mellon with the intention of studying psychology as an undergraduate. But it did not come to pass. I knew what I wanted to study, I knew it in my heart, I knew that I wanted to help people be more authentic, true to themselves. I also knew that I could not bring myself to accept the behavioral curriculum advanced by the psychology department and their emphasis on Skinner. So I changed my major to literature and I have no regrets. Because Camus, Shakespeare, and Dostoyevsky taught me what I need to learn about life and people.